Yanks jokes

• Happy 4th July to all our American friends. Or is that Happy 7/4.Either way, why not celebrate by eating lots of cakes and downing as many Budweisers as you can, and with a bit of luck a few more of you will be dead from coronary artery disease this time next year.
• Its 11 am GMT and the American jokes are being voted down.Once again proving the fucking yanks have no sense of humour.
• How many Yanks does it take to change a light bulb?None: they assume the sun shines out of their arses.
• Why is American beer served cold?So you can tell it from urine.
• Not all Americans are cunts; some are dead.
• This is apparently a true story...A British Airways 747 was making its approach to Heathrow Airport when the pilot came over the intercom and said: "If you look out of the left hand windows of the plane, you will see Windsor Castle, one of Englands most historic and beautiful landmarks".At which point, an American tourist pipes up: "Gee, what a silly place to build a castle, right underneath a busy flight path".
• Ah, it"s the time of day when all the American inbred retards swarm the site and think, "Don"t get that. Must be crap. Vote it down, down, down."I have visited American so-called "Sick Joke" sites and the wankers actually apologise after posting a sick joke! Strange how they find sick jokes offensive, but don"t mind bombing the fuck out of innocent human beings (us British included)!Well, here"s a little friendly fire for all you God-fearing, nappy-wearing, sister-shagging retards:Fuck off and find a knock-knock joke site. That will be much more to your shandy-drinking style, I think.
• How many yanks does it take to change a light bulb?Fuck knows, they"re all too fat to get up.
• Gulf War : 64 British soldiers killedGulf War 2 : 75 British soldiers killedAfghanistan : 28 British soldiers killed Carlsberg don"t do friendly fire incidents...... the fucking Yanks have cornered the market.
• A young British soldier lost his head during a fire fight and ran for cover some distance from the action.He had not only lost his prized beret but had also lost his webbing and weapon.He was crouched down behind a wall when he felt a hand grip his shoulder and heard a calming American voice behind him say, "What the fuck do you think you"re doing here, soldier? Think of your regiment...get back there and do what you"re paid to do."The young soldier got himself back under control and said, "Sorry, mate, you"re right."The voice behind him bellowed, "MATE? I am an American Officer!"The young soldier replied, "Sorry, Sir, I didn"t realise I"d run back that far."
• What"s a cock and the space shuttle got in common?Seven yanks and they both explode.