Woman jokes

• Half of relationships end because of bad sex.Mine however ended because of good sex... With another Woman.
• Why does NASA always send a woman on Shuttle missions?They weigh 25 pounds less than an automatic dishwasher!
• A Muslim woman knocked on my front door last night - I spoke to her through the letterbox............ See how she fucking likes it!
• How is a woman like a condom?Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
• A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire.""And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.The woman replied, "a billionaire".
• I see a lot of women are using this site...The dinner won"t cook itself you know.
• Things You Learn From Watching Porn Women wear high heels to bed. Men are never impotent. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job. Women always orgasm when men do. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. All women are noisy fucks. People in the 70"s couldn"t fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. Those tits are real. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman"s butt. Men always groan "OH YEAH" when they cum. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn"t disgusted!) Double penetration makes women smile. Asian men don"t exist. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won"t bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend"s mouth. There"s a plot.When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass. Nurses suck patients cocks. Men always pull out. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she"ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you. Women never have headaches. When a woman is sucking a man"s cock, it"s important for him to remind her to "suck it" Assholes are clean. A man ejaculating on a woman"s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man"s pants and find a cock there. Men don"t have to beg. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman"s head and the other proudly on his hip.Pigtails = handlebars.
• If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate ...Do you think:(a) You need more time together, (b) She"s a prude, or (c) She should sit somewhere else on the bus?
• A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I"ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked."Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere."
• What if God"s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I"ll never know why.
• I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one ready meal and one tin of soup.I leaned over and said, "you"re single, aren"t you?""How can you tell?" she said, in a sarcastic tone.I said, "because you"re an ugly cunt!"
• "Oh doctor," moaned the woman to her doctor, "everyone calls me a nymphomaniac.""I understand," said the doctor, "but I"ll be able to take better notes if you"ll let go of my cock."
• What does a bank and a women have in common? When you withdraw, you loose interest.