Wife beating jokes

• I found that if you run out of KY Jelly and are really desperate, foreplay will work too.
• Half of relationships end because of bad sex.Mine however ended because of good sex... With another Woman.
• Dave comes home from work early one day.He walks in to the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the floor. He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the air for a few seconds, before he can"t take it any more.Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides in and gives her the pounding of her life until they both orgasm loudly. Then he zips himself up, gets to his feet and kicks her up the arse as hard as he can."What the fuck was that for?!" she screams at him."That was for not turning round to see who it was." he replies.
• I"ve never understood why some people beat their wives.I mean, that"s like keying your OWN car.
• As Hurricane Ike batters the east coast of America, is anyone else wondering if there"s a town in Texas called Tina?
• A poster in my doctor"s surgery concerning wife beating read, "Don"t suffer in silence". Well, whenever I punch my missus on the jaw, she screams like a fucking banshee. It makes me wonder if the doctors know what they"re talking about half the time.
• Tina Turner has just given her reaction to Ike"s death.She says she"s really beaten up about it.
• I feel terrible, I"ve just kicked the shit out my wife for absolutely no reason......... I am so ashamed of myself, I have reassured her next time I will definitely have a reason.