Wheelchair jokes

• I got a parking ticket yesterday for parking in a spot with a wheelchair on it. The police must have heard the guy screaming.
• How do you know when a cabbage is cooked?When the wheelchair floats to the top!
• What do you call an epileptic person in a wheelchair?A Transformer!
• Is it just me or does Wheelchair Rugby just look like Robot Wars ?
• I saw the Paralympic schedule on the Beijing 2008 website and was surprised to see that the Equestrian was a Paralympic event...How do they get the wheelchair on the horse?
• A man was walking along the beach one day, when he happened to pass by a very lovely young woman that didnt have any arms or legs, gently sobbing to herself..."Why the tears?" he asked.She says, "I"m 18 years old and I"ve never been kissed." The man pauses for a moment, then smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the head. She laughs a little and puckers up so he gives her a big kiss on the lips.They pause for an unsure moment and then she says "You know... I"m 18 years old... and I"ve never been fucked!" The man stands up starts smiling and grabs the young woman by the hair and tosses her into the sea.She starts screaming and bobbing up and down, then the man shouts; "WELL YOU"RE FUCKED NOW DARLING!"
• Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick"s Day.Mick, the bartender says, "You"ll not be drinking any more tonight Paddy."Paddy replies, "Ok Mick, I"ll be on my way then." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shit" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shit!"He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he"ll be fine.He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face."Bi"Jesus... I"m fockin" focked," he says.He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin" way", but he crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin" pissed. But how"d you know?""Mick phoned... You left your wheelchair at the pub!"
• My friend is in a wheelchair, so I gave him a chainsaw, wrapped him in tinfoil and sent him on Robot Wars. But seriously - he"s dead now.
• I don"t know about you, but I"m sick of seeing disabled people being pushed around...
• Why couldn"t Superman save the Twin Towers? They weren"t wheelchair accessible.
• I was waiting for a bus and next to me was a woman, with her son, who was in a wheelchair.I asked the woman, "How old is your son?"The woman replied, "He"s ten years old."So then I said, "Shouldn"t he be walking by now?"
• I have just read the joke by rossgreen88:" I don"t know about you, but I"m sick of seeing disabled people being pushed around."That"s just your opinion. I can"t stand people in wheelchairs.
• what do you call three people in wheelchairs stacked on top of each other? A vegetable rack.