War jokes

• Just a mere coincidence that the abbreviation for the war against terror is T.W.A.T? I think not.
• A French War Hero, a peaceful Muslim and the Loch Ness Monster are sitting in a bar. Who is the odd one out?The Loch Ness Monster, because there is a chance that he actually exists.
• How do you stop an Iraqi tank?Shoot the people pushing it.
• This war in Iraq certainly does throw up a lot of ethical questions.With Americans on one side and Muslims on the other... who do you support?
• Why are there no casinos in China?Because the Chinese hate Tibet.
• After the war, the plan is to divide Iraq into three parts... unleaded, premium, and diesel.
• How can you recognise a French war veteran?Sunburned armpits.
• A journalist goes to Iraq and is surprised to see that the local men allow their wives to walk in front of them. The journalist approaches a local and says, "I thought the custom in Islamic countries was for wives to walk ten paces behind their husbands?""It was," replied the local, "But that all changed with the war.""How did the war change things?" The journalist enquired.The local replied, "land mines."
• Going to War over Religion is basically killing one another to see who"s got the better imaginary friend...
• You really do have to hand it to the French...After all, they won"t fight for it.
• I am in the army and my sergeant said to me, "I didn"t see you at camouflage training this morning!"To which I replied, "oh, thank you very much, sir!"
• The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest."Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.""That"s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest."It"s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favours," continued the old man."Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest."Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That"s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?""Of course, my son," said the priest.The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"
• THE WAR AGAINST TERROR........God"s way of teaching geography to Americans!
• the belgians and dutch are at war. however, both armies have digged themselves in and no-one seems to be able to win. So the dutch devise a ingenious plan: the now all belgians are called "sjef", so during battle they cry out "SJEF" and then the belgians reply: "YES I"M HERE" RATATATATATATA The belgians, noticing they're losing the war, devise an other devious plan. They know all the dutch people are called "Jan". So during the fighting, they yell "JAN", to which the dutch reply: "IS THAT YOU SJEF?"... "YES IT'S ME" RATATATATA