Wales jokes

• How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass?Very satisfying.
• My wife and I were looking forward to some new experiences in Wales last week.Turned out Bridgend is full of the other type of swingers.
• The bloke who was shot in Antigua has died.He woke up and found out that he was in Wales.He then turned off his own life support machine.
• I went to Wales a few months ago, lovely place.Shame about the people.
• How do you get two whales in a car?Down the M4.
• Where else but Wales can you get a fuck, a nice warm coat AND a casserole all from the same date.
• Apparently The Samaritans in Bridgend have now gone ex directory.
• An Englishman, Welshman and West Indian are in hospital, waiting for their wives to give birth. There is quite a bit of pacing up and down when the nurse comes out and happily announces that they are all fathers of bouncing baby boys."There"s just one problem," she says. "Because they were all born at the same time, we got the tags mixed up and we don"t know which baby belongs to whom. Would you, as their fathers, mind coming to identify them?" The men agree and walk into the delivery room and look at the babies.Immediately the Englishman stoops down and picks up the black baby. "Yes, this is definitely my baby," he says confidently."Um, excuse me," says the West Indian, "but I think it"s fairly obvious that this is my son."The Englishman pulls him aside and says, "I see where you"re coming from, mate, but one of these babies is Welsh and I"m not prepared to take the risk."
• Whereas in certain countries men have been known to put their women on a pedestal, in Wales they"ve put her on their National Flag.
• A student of criminal psychology decides to do his thesis on people who sexually abuse animals, and in particular, men who shag sheep. He takes a flight to Australia, and meets a sheep farmer and, amongst other things, asks him how he actually has sex with the sheep."Well its quite simple, cobber - you grab the bastard by the tail, hold tight and slip your cock in."The student later travels to New Zealand and asks a farmer there the same question."Ah, we"re with the Aussie jokers on that one - grab it by the tail, hold on and fuck it from behind."Finally, the student goes to Wales and asks a farmer there how he does it."Well it"s bloody awkward, see - first you find your sheep, then you finds a stone wall, then you grabs the sheep by the front paws, bend its back over the wall and fucks it like that."The Student replies "Why don"t you fuck it from behind like they do in Australia and New Zealand?""Fuck it from behind? How am I supposed to kiss it?"
• Catherine Zeta Jones apparently has bottles of air from Wales in her American mansion to make it smell more like home.If I wanted my house to smell like Wales, I"d just keep kicking my dog until he farted.
• Like many young kids, my little neices have got their own silly, nonsense language.They haven"t got a name for it but most of us know it as "Welsh".
• Two Americans driving through Wales.At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch they stopped for lunch, and the first American asked the waitress "Before we order, please pronounce very slowly where we are"The waitress leaned over and said "Burrr-gerrr Ki-ing"
• Wales mountain rescue have just released a statement saying they need more donations, they can"t survive on just coppers!