Uk jokes

• Poland is just like the UK, only with fewer Polish people.
• Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "Suspicious car". Apparently it had tax, insurance and the radio was still in it.
• The latest poll taken by the UK yielded results on whether or not people who live in UK think illegal immigration is a serious problem: a) 39% of the respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem." b) 61% of the respondents answered: "To nie stanowi powaznego problemu."
• Cries of "Super! Great! Smashing!" can be heard all over south Yorkshire, as people from Sheffield and Rotherham can finally use that fucking speedboat they won on Bullseye.
• The Welsh mining industry looks set for a come-back......Apparently they"ve found some copper in Snowdonia.
• Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600employees and has the following statistics?29 have been accused of spouse abuse7 have been arrested for fraud19 have been accused of writing bad cheques117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses3 have done time for assault71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit4 have been arrested on drug-related charges8 have been arrested for shoplifting21 are currently defendants in lawsuits84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last yearWhich organization is this?It"s the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
• The US and British Navy were recently on manoeuvres in the Persian gulf. The communications officer on the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise sent a radio message to the British carrier HMS Illustrious: "And how"s the second biggest Navy in the world today then?"To which the Illustrious officer responded: "Fine. How"s the second best?"The USS Enterprise did not reply.
• Europe"s human rights watchdog has expressed "considerable concern" about the prospect of terrorist suspects being held in the UK for up to 42 days.I agree, we should shoot the fuckers on day one.
• Who works in a corner shop, has 8 kids and stinks of curry?The UK"s entire population by 2030.
• With all the blacks n paki"s in this country, why would the BNP want to run it?