Threesome jokes

• My wife suggested that to spice up our sex life we have a threesome. She looked at me with a sly look in her eye and said if we wanted to, she could call her best friend, or alternatively, if we felt really kinky, we could call her step-sister. Well, lets just say that it was the best night of my life for many years!I called them both, left the three of them to get on with it, and fucked off down the pub to watch the football.
• Yesterday I had the best kind of threesome, a mother/daughter combo. I tell you what, my Mum is a right screamer and my little daughter knows a few dirty tricks too!
• The closest to a threesome I ever got was when I fucked a schizophrenic.
• If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have? Divorce proceedings, most likely.
• If women are so good at multi-tasking, why is my wife so against a threesome?
• Women. They are confusing creatures, eh?My wife suggested "spicing up" our sex life. But when I suggested to have a threesome with the girl next door, she was disgusted and threw me out.Personally, I don"t see the problem. She was the one who said the girl next door was "cute" whilst we were babysitting.
• Met an older woman at a bar last night.She wasn"t bad for 57, we drank and flirted a bit, then she asked if I"d ever had a mother and daughter combo.I said no.We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.I went back to her place.She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:"Mum, you still awake?"
• My girlfriend said that, because she"s a woman, she"s good at doing two things at the same time.I said, "well then, why is a threesome out of the question?"
• My life ambition is to have a threesome.I haven"t achieved it yet although I did have sex with a pregnant woman......does that count?
• My girlfriend"s mate suggested trying a threesome with him, so I smashed his head in.That"ll teach him to try and fuck with me.