Thalidomide jokes

• Have you guys heard about the new Disability Discrimination Act?Neither have I but apparently the Thalidomides are up in arms about it!
• Police today arrested a Thalidomide couple at Heathrow Airport.They were charged under the terrorism act, for trying to take small arms onto a plane.
• Did you hear about the thalidomide who died on bonfire night?He read the instructions on a firework which said hold at arms length and he blew his head off!
• My wife took Thalidomide throughout her pregnancy, and all our son got was this T-shirt.Keeps his hands warm, mind you...
• What do they teach thalidomide kids at school?Short-hand typing and unarmed combat
• A vicar is on a train and this pregnant woman gets on and sits down opposite him.As they travel the vicar is reading his newspaper and the woman takes out her knitting.As she is knitting, about every 20 minutes she reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of pills from which she takes one and swallows it.This goes on for about an hour when the vicar sees the label "Thalidomide" on the bottle."Excuse me", says the vicar to the woman, "Do you know the effect that could have on your unborn child?""Yes" says the woman "I never could knit sleeves."
• Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill."What was that?" The others asked her."Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill."What was that?" the others asked. "Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill."What was that?" the others asked her. "It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can"t get the arms right on this fucking sweater!"
• What"s the world"s smallest pub?The Thalidomide Arms.
• Did you hear about the Thalidomide porn star?He had an arm like a baby"s cock.
• Dave has just had his left arm amputated after an accident at work. he goes to his local for a few pints with his mate Rick to drown his sorrows.after half an hour a man with no arms at all comes into the pub bouncing around like he"s on a pogo stick.Rick says to Dave ""look you miserable twat, that guy there has got no arms at all and he"s as happy as a pig in shit, at least you still have an arm""Rick goes over to this guy "" my mate has lost one arm and look at him miserable bastard. And here you are with no arms at all, but your as happy as a pig in shit""The guy still bouncing round responds""Fuck off mate ive got an itchy arse""
• Q: What is hairy and has ten fingers? ... A: A thalidomide's armpits.