Terrorist jokes

• I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the fuck happened on the ninth of November anyway?
• What do you do when you see 100 dead Arabs?Laugh and reload!
• NEWSFLASH!Reports are coming in that the Irish branch of Al Qaeda have today hijacked the Goodyear Blimp. According to eye witness accounts, the bastards have bounced off Canary Wharf three times in the last hour.
• ONLY IN GLASGOWOnly in Glasgow can some guy who sets out on a ?holy jihad? and destiny with 84 virgins in paradise end up on fire from head to toe, having a square go with a bystander and getting maced by the police. Get it right up you, mate! lol Only in Glasgow do suicide bombers need rescuing from the locals by the Police. Only in Glasgow when you pop out for a ciggy can you get a lite off a burning suicide bomber’s head.
• I will never forget the terrible events of 9/12.
• Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board...Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the fucking plane.
• Are you Arab? Sick of been treated as a terrorist?I have a solution for you, buy a fucking transparent Rucksack
• Happy twin towers day
• The Met police found a bomb outside Finsbury park mosque.Luckily they managed to push it inside before it went off.
• Scottish Police today said a third Pakistani was seen going out at the rear of the terminal. Police are pleased to report they got the cunt going again with some petrol and wood!
• As we approach the third anniversary of the London Tube/Bus Bombings we need to look to the future, and see that in an odd way, something positive came out of that day.Four dead pakis.
• NEWSFLASH!Emergency services have removed 32 dead Pakistanis from a house in Bradford.It is not believed that there are any links to terrorist groups.Early indications are that a bunk bed collapsed.
• Police today arrested a Thalidomide couple at Heathrow Airport.They were charged under the terrorism act, for trying to take small arms onto a plane.
• End Political Correctness......Kill a Muslim!
• Just a mere coincidence that the abbreviation for the war against terror is T.W.A.T? I think not.
• Why is being breast fed like the terrorist attacks of 9/11?Because at the time it was really enjoyable, although you would never admit it.
• Yes folks its true, not all muslims are terrorists.. most of them support and fund terrorism.. only the remaining are terrorists ;)
• I find it incredibly annoying and frustrating when people refer to the London Suicide bombers , the lot that blew themselves up on the 7th of July, as "Four Pakis." Lets get this right, please. Part of the process of healing is understanding, and admitting that this is a problem that affects us all. Prejudice is a two-way street. They were NOT "Four Fucking Pakis," to describe them as such is offensive and incorrect. They were three pakis and a nigger. Thank You.
• Be proud to be British.We know exactly where every untaxed car is located among the millions of car owners in the UK, but we haven"t got a fucking clue where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.Maybe Gordon Brown should put the fucking DVLA in charge of immigration.
• Why won"t Al Qaida ever bomb a Ryanair flight? Because they want to go straight to paradise, not 30 miles away and take a taxi.
• You heard about that new talking Taliban action figure?No one knows what it says "cos they"re too fucking scared to pull the toggle!
• I wish this Government would make themselves clearer.First they set up a terrorist hotline, and put posters everywhere advising us to call the free number and report anyone in our neighbourhoods behaving in a manner we wouldn"t expect of them.Yet when I call the hotline and report that the Paki next door has a regular job, bought his house, dresses sensibly, smells ok and doesn"t have four wives and two dozen kids in the basement, they send someone round to issue me with a "formal caution" for breaching the Race Relations Act. I wish they"d make their fucking minds up.
• Muslim fundamentalists have got to be the shitest terrorists in history.Even the fuckin" Irish worked out you could walk away from a bomb before it blows up!
• I"m having some problems with my new Staffordshire Bull Terrier- I rang the vet for some advice.I explained he was brown, stupid, aggressive and liable to attack anyone for no good reason.The vet replied " Muzzle "im? " No, I said- I think he"s an atheist.
• A Muslim in our street has doused himself in petrol, set fire to himself and burnt to death.We"re having a collection for his family.So far, we"ve got 80 litres!
• Apparantly Allah is having real problems at the moment. With so many suicide bombers, he is really struggling to find the 72 virgins that have been promised to each and every one of them. It"s getting so bad, he might even have to consider female virgins as a substitue.
• I don"t know why everyone says George Bush is stupid.His wars have killed more Americans than any terrorist could ever dream of.
• Q. What is the difference between a smarty and a terrorist? A. A smarty doesn't blow up in the tube.