Tennis jokes

• The Williams Sisters have yet again reached the final of Wimbledon.Given that the weather forecast for the final on Saturday is to be torrential rain, so as not to disappoint the viewers and provide programme continuity, the BBC will be showing the film Gorillas in the mist during any rain delays.
• What do you call a woman who can spread her legs from one side of a tennis court to the other?Annette.
• The French Tennis Open for this year has been cancelled due to a National crisis.They have plenty of rackets...but no balls!
• So Andy Murray has finally made a Grand Slam final. Everybody in Britain is proud of you Andy.Except Tim Henman who thinks you are a Cunt.
• Never date a tennis player; to them love means nothing.
• John Terry and Andy Murray are to train together next week, Terry will teach Murray how not to hit the net and Murray will show Terry how to hit the ball into the net.
• I was flicking through the TV channels, when I came across Monkey Tennis on Sky Sports."Brilliant!", I thought, "monkey tennis."Then I realised, it was just those Williams sisters again!
• Hearty congratulations to Venus Williams on beating Elena Dementieva to get to the final of Wimbledon.I mean have you looked at Dementieva? She"s gorgeous. How Venus managed to concentrate on her tennis with an erection is beyond me.
• I saw two black dogs chasing a ball across some grass today as they barked as loudly as they could at each other.Apparently, that"s tennis these days.
• A bloke is watching TV, his wife is out at bingo. As he is settling down his son, who was watching TV up in his room, appears in the doorway. "Dad, what"s love juice?"The dad chokes on his beer and thinks, "Well he is 12 now perhaps I should explain"."Well son" he says, "soon you will meet a girl who you fancy, you will become exited, your willy will get very hard."The dad gulps and carries on. "You will touch the girl all over and when you reach the top of her leg it will feel wet, this is her love juice coming out of her vagina, it means she is ready for sexual intercourse." The son looks curious and says, "Ok dad thanks." As he is leaving the room the dad says, "Hang on son, what are you watching up there to make you ask that?"The son replies "Just the Tennis."
• According to a TV commentator today, there is "Nothing more painful than going out of Wimbledon live on TV." That"s an absurd exaggeration- what about a paper cut on the bell end?
• What"s the definition of "Endless Love"?Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
• The depressing thing about tennis is that, no matter how good I get, I"ll never be as good as a wall.