Teeth jokes

• What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?A full set of teeth.
• My Grandad says his sex life is great. He says, since his girlfriend has been loosing her teeth, the blow-jobs have been fantastic...... May be a different story when her adult teeth start coming through though.
• I pulled out three teeth today. I was about to pull out a fourth but the old bitch surrendered and gave me her PIN.
• Israel has handed five prisoners to Hezbollah in return for the remains of two dead soldiers.The lengths the Jews will go to for a few gold teeth!!
• Why are niggers" teeth so white ?So you know where to aim your punch when you"re about to get mugged at night
• What"s red and bad for your teeth?A brick.
• During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I"d like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That"s fine, but we"re in the middle of the Depression, so I"ll need to see some money first." The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can"t believe what he"s seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I"m a professional gambler," replied the man. The bartender said, "There"s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?" "Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy. "Like what?" asked the bartender. "Well, for example, I"ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said. The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said. So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50. "I"ll give you another chance. I"ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger. The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you"re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I"ll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye. "Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender. "That"s how I win so much money, bartender. I"ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man. With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I"ll give you one last chance. I"ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop." The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn"t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you"re on," he said. The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle. The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!" The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That"s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"
• A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mum to come out. While waiting, the little boy gets bored and just when his Mum comes walking out she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin"s skirt.."Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don"t you know that women have teeth down there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn"t get bitten! For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he"s 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, "You know, you could go a little further if you want." What do you mean?" he asks."Well, why don"t you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch. "Hell no," he cries, "you"ve got teeth down there!" Don"t be ridiculous," she responds, "there"s no teeth down there.""Yes, there are," he says, "my Mum told me so.""No, there aren"t," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek." "No, I"m sorry", he says. "My Mum already told me that ALL women have teeth down there." "Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head, and says, "LOOK, I DON"T HAVE ANY TEETH DOWN THERE"The boy takes a good long look and replies, "Well, with the condition of those gums, I"m not surprised!"
• Old lady goes to the dentist, sits on the chair, lowers her panties and lifts her legs up.Dentist says "I"m not a Gynecologist.""I know," she says "I want you to take my husband"s teeth out."
• Two old men sitting in a retirement home chatting, "I"m full of aches and pains today Alf." "How do you feel?" Alf replies "Like a new born baby Fred" "Really?" Says Fred, "A newborn baby?" "Yes" says Alf, "No hair, no teeth, and I"ve just shat myself!"
• Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex all the time, and just as much as ever. The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was. The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom he gets turned on and has his way with her.The second old lady decides to try this approach so that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. her husband comes into the bedroom takes one look and says, "For God"s sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in."