Tampon jokes

• Whats the difference between Sadaam Hussein and a tampon?One is a piece of string hanging from a cunt, the other is a cunt hanging from a piece of string.=]
• What do elephants use as tampons?Sheep
• How do you confuse an archaeologist?Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
• One day a black man is walking down the street when he sees an empty coke can and kicks it.A genie appears from the can and grants the man one wish. He replies, "i wanna be white and surrounded by pussy", so the genie turns him into a tampon.The moral of the story? You may get what you want, but it will always come with strings attached!
• Victoria Beckham was getting ready for a night out with David Beckham. She waltzed out the bathroom and said "David, does this tampon make me look fat?"
• A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home." The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you make today?" The Aussie said "One." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" "£101 237.64" The Aussie replied. The manager choked and exclaimed £101 237.64? What the hell did you sell him?" "Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then, I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn"t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?". "No no no......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said........."Well, since your weekend"s fucked, you might as well go fishing!""
• I thought I"d try modern art because it seems pretty easy, so I found a used tampon and wiped it all over my desk at work.I called it the Periodic Table.
• Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain, and were approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each other, one pad said to the other,"Should we say hi to those two tampons?"The other pad responded, "Err... nah... they"re stuck up cunts."
• A vampire walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Can I have a hot cup of water?"The barman says, "I thought you only drank blood"The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I"m making tea"
• What"s the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? Cowboy hats are for arseholes.
• How do Ethiopians know when they are pregnant?The tampon"s half eaten.
• How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?When she has a tampon behind her ear and can"t find her pencil