Sweets jokes

• Halloween is a great time of year for me. I still buy the sweets but the kids come to me.
• I went for a drive in the country today and picked up a twelve year old hitching a lift to the next village. I knew my luck was in when she asked if I had any sweets.
• What is the leading cause of paedophilia?Haribo.
• Kids have got it easy today. When I was a lad, we never heard of paedophiles, so we had to buy our own fucking sweets!
• Fucking inflation, its costing me a fortune to get a blowjob these daysEvery time I go to the shop, the price of sweets has gone up!
• I was such an ugly child, I had to bribe the local paedophile with sweets to get any action
• Graphic warnings will appear on cigarette packets this week including rotting teeth, a corpse, and a body cut open.On sweet cigarette packets the warnings will be pictures of Gary Glitter, Michael Jackson and Ian Huntley
• A young boy comes home with an armchair under each arm and a sofa strapped to his back.His father is furious and says, "how many times have I told you not to accept suites from strangers?"
• I don"t know what"s happening in this country. You"ve got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It"s a nightmare - you don"t know whether to carry sweets or money.
• You can say what you like about paedophiles, but they"re generous with their sweets.
• What"s the difference between Smarties and sleeping pills?Maddy wasn"t allowed to have a whole pack of Smarties!
• How many naked schoolgirls does it take to change a light bulb?I don"t know yet..... but get me a puppy and a bag of sweets and I"ll find out.
• A man walks into a shop and ponders at the confectionary at the counter. He says, "I"ll have a Twirl and a Boost, please."The shopkeeper gayly spins round, points and says, "Honey, you look fabulous today!"