Superman jokes

• Stephen Hawking and Christopher Reeve walk into a bar...Oh Wait.
• I just got thrown out of Fathers 4 Justice.Superman and Batman have told me that Super Nazi is not a real action hero.
• Superman was patrolling the skies above New York, He sees Wonder Woman sun bathing naked on a sky scraper. He thought that if he travelled at the speed of light he could give her one, and be away before she knew what had happened! So in he flew, emptied his load and flew off again.Wonder Woman said, "What the hell was that?""No idea," said the Invisible man, "but fuck, my arse hurts."
• A pretty blonde walks into a bar and asks the handsome fellow at the bar what he"s drinking.He says, "Magic beer. You want one?""Aw, that"s stupid. There"s no such thing" she says."Look, I"ll show you". He takes a big swig and proceeds to throw himself out of a nearby window, where he proceeds to fly up and around the building, and back into bar window."That"s incredible! I don"t believe it!" she says."Hey barkeep, throw me another one o" them Magic Beers". The bartender shakes his head and pours another beer and slides it down the bar. The man chugs about half of it and proceeds to leap out the window and circle the building again."Here, you try it" he says to the blonde.She takes a big draw on the glass, jumps out of the window, and falls about 30 feet to the ground - breaking both her legs - and begins screaming in pain.The bartender says, "Superman, you"re a real bastard when you"re drunk."
• Why couldn"t Superman save the Twin Towers? They weren"t wheelchair accessible.
• What are Superman"s two worst enemies ?Kryptonite and horses.
• What"s the difference between Bananaman and Superman?One"s a fruit, one"s a vegetable.
• Superman was talking to his buddy outside the pub when an old lady has her bag snatched. His friend says "Do something Superman!"Superman replies "I can"t.... I"m in a fucking wheelchair."
• Remember when you"re young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grew up and realised he"s just a drunk who wears a cape.
• When I was little, Superman was my idol.Now I"m paralysed too.