- What do you call a broken Boomerang?A stick.
- What"s brown and sticky?My poster of Beyonce
- I can"t find a woman anywhere who will touch me with a shitty stick.Fair enough, it is a bit of an unusual request.
- I went to an Indian restaurant last night called "Taste of the Raj"The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.
- My mate is forever "getting hold of the wrong end of the stick", which wouldn"t be too bad usually, except he works on a sewage farm
- Tom and George are going hunting. Tom says to George, "I"ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren"t any ducks out there, I"m not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Tom says, "Well I"m not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there." George says, "You"re going to take the dog"s barks for the truth?" George doesn"t believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don"t believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!" Tom says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So George goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Tom has. The breeder obliges and George brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it"s mouth and starts humping George"s leg. Outraged, George takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!" The breeder asks what the dog did. So George tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg. The breeder says, "George, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"
- A young boy was sitting on a bus, an old man gets on and has to stand, as the bus stops he slips.The boy asked, "shouldnt you have rubber on the end of you stick?"The man replies, "If your dad would have had rubber on the end of his stick you wouldn"t be here and I would have a place to sit"
- I went to buy my Grandmother a new walking stick from a Walking Stick Shop.Some old man was in there complaining to me that all the sticks are on high shelves.I said "You just can"t get the staff these days"