Steal jokes

• Why are black people so strong? TVs are getting heavier.
• What do you get if you combine a Polish person with a Scouser?Someone who steals all the jobs.
• What do you call a chav in a tastefully decorated house? A burglar.
• Did you know that, after school, 33 per cent of teenagers go back to an empty house... break a window, steal a DVD player and then go home.
• Liverpool City Council have advised all local shops to replace the "sell by" stickers on fresh produce to "steal by" until the economy improves.
• A white lie: "No dear, your bum doesn"t look big in those jeans".A black lie: "I didn"t steal no mother fuckin" car".
• Why should you never run over a chav on a bike?It"s probably your bike.
• Had to laugh when I heard the swimming commentator say, "this gold medal will be taken by who ever wants it enough."In which case, I"m planning on breaking into the winner"s house and stealing it.
• What"s a chav"s favourite type of car? One without an alarm.