Spurs jokes

• David Blaine is apparently gutted at the minute. He has discovered his 44 day record of doing fuck all in a box has been smashed by Darren Bent.
• Tottenham Hotspur have announced a new sponsorship deal with Virgin. Quite appropriate really, seeing the cunts fail to score every Saturday.
• How do you spot the jews at a Spurs home game?Cos they hold their hand out when the ref puts his hand in his pocket
• What has the Spurs goalkeeper and Michael Jackson got in common?They both wear gloves for no apparent reason
• Juande Ramos is talking to the groundsmen one day at White Hart Lane."The pitch is looking good lads" he says.One groundsman replies; "It should do boss, we put 70 million quids worth of shit on it every fortnight"
• My mate has just called to ask if I want any tickets to watch a couple of comedy acts on 21st December.I asked, “Who"s appearing?”He said, “Newcastle and Spurs.”
• What"s the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a cocktail stick?A cocktail stick has 2 points.
• It"s panto season again at White Hart Lane. I have to keep shouting at the Tottenham defence, "they"re behind you!"
• Tottenham Hotspur have decided to officially adopt the Star of David as their club symbol, not because of it"s links to Judaism, but it"s the only way they"ll get six points this year
• My old man"s a Spurs fan. He is that disappointed with their recent bad form, yesterday he nailed his season ticket to a tree in the park.He had second thoughts today and went back to collect it.Someone had nicked the nail.
• Two Jews queue up at Tottenham ticket office for a season ticket. The woman at the ticket office asks them if they are circumcised.The pair reply, "of course we are.""Then, I"m sorry, but I can"t sell these to you," the woman says.The Jews are confused and ask why not.The women then replies, "only complete pricks can be Spurs fans."
• Haringay Council have blocked Tottenham"s plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A Town Hall source said: "We don"t mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit fucking much."