Sport jokes

• I think our Olympic canoeists are doing great.None have gone missing so far.
• What does NBA stand for?Nothing but Africans.
• After our sucess in cycling and boating events, the Olympic organisers have announced the addition of pedalo racing to London 2012 games.
• I saw some footage of all the Olympic athletes training before the games.The Chinese really stood out for me though, using the same athlete for all of the events.
• Its really interesting - Amir Khan enters the ring as a British Sporting Icon, and leaves as a fucking paki.
• The Iranians have refused to play against the USA in the Wheelchair Basketball at the Paralympics. Talk about ingratitude!With their indiscriminate bombing campaign, the Americans have provided more invalids in the Middle East than anybody else.
• Ferrari"s Formula 1 team manager decided to employ some Liverpudlian teenagers as their pit crew. This was because of their renowned skill at removing car wheels quickly. At the first practice session, not only did they change all 4 wheels in 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged & sold the fucker to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed & some pictures of David Coulthard"s bird getting shagged up the arse.
• What"s brown and runny?Kelly Holmes
• Apparently, the Olympics are showing just as many women"s sports as men"s. It"s funny, I didn"t know cooking and cleaning were actual sports.
• We are the most successful team at the Paralympics! So, look at it this way... our Football Team, Rugby Team, Cricket Team and Tennis Players may be shite; but our Mongs are the best in the world... doesn"t it make you proud to be British?
• What"s brown, runny and suspicious?Dwain Chambers.
• A man walked up to the ticket office and asked to buy a ticket for the match that afternoon."Sorry,there isn"t a match today," came the reply."But there must be," he argued,"there"s always a match on saturday afternoon.""Well there isn"t today,"replied the official impatiently."Well i don"t believe you," persisted the man , "you"re having me on.""Now look here,you moron,read my lips. There is no M-A-T-F-C-H this afternoon,okay?""But there isn"t an F in match," retorted the fan angrily."Thats what i"ve been trying to fucking tell you!" yelled the official.