Spelling jokes

• Why did the Prophet Mohammed marry a six-year-old?Because he was a paedophile.
• Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes.
• Am I the only one to notice that Therapist is split into The rapist[SNL Celebrity Jeopardy]
• A survey of schools found one in seven children aged 5 struggles to write their own name.But I bet they still manage to write CUNT on the toilet wall.
• Year 2 class in Bradford comes in from playtime. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at playtime?"Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."The teacher says, "That"s good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write "sand" correctly, I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."She does and gets a chocolate Hobnob.The teacher asks Michael what he did at playtime.Michael says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."The teacher says, "Good. If you write "box" correctly on the blackboard, I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."Michael does, and gets a chocolate Hobnob. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at playtime.He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Michael, but they threw rocks at me."The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go to the blackboard and write "blatant racial discrimination" I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."
• I love the way Americans talk about their "forefathers."I bet that is just because they don"t know how to spell "ancestors"
• First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.Then they gave me hypodermics.Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis.I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.I don"t know how I pulled through it..It was the fucking hardest spelling test I"ve ever had.
• What"s the definition of irony?This software telling me that I should put "criticize" when writing jokes about stupid Americans.
• Got stopped by a bloke the other day who asked me if a knew if there was a B&Q in Wallsall, I said don"t ask me mate a can"t fucking spell.