- Did you hear there is going to be a new climbing event in this years Special Olympics: the spaz doorstep challenge.
- I tried joining a spastics school the other day.Apparently, a blow job a day was not a special need.
- Just been on the news a coach driver carrying 60 spastics has been kicked to death.Apparently his sat nav took him past a magnet factory.
- What do you call 10 spastics lying on top of each other in a pile?A vegetable rack.
- Laughing at the spastics who work there. More reasons to shop at Morrisons.
- Everytime I see you, I smile.When you walk, I laugh.When you speak, I get excited.For some reason, retarded people amuse the fuck out of me.
- I was looking through the paralympic schedule last night and it looked reasonably interesting,I have one question though,why no hurdles?
- After taking a car full of kids to accident and emergency with embedded glass and cuts to their foreheads....I"ve decided to stop counting how many spastics it takes to change a lightbulb.
- What"s the difference between a spastic and a chav?The burberry cap.
- Olympic Gold medallists may receive fame and glory for their sporting endeavours, but only winners at the Special Olympics get taken to McDonald"s afterwards as well.
- Today I heard the deafening roar of laughter down my road.I didn"t think so many people watched the opening ceremony of the Paralympics.
- I tried to get something special for my wife for her birthday this year. But the lady at the council said they don"t sell mongs to the public.
- I don"t see what"s so "special" about these paralympic games; I see thousands of total spastics, often much worse than these athletes, every day. Although, in fairness, it should be pointed out I work in Leeds.
- What"s better than winning the Paralympics?Ice cream.
- Whats the hardest part of a vegetable?