- What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs?Nice tits.
- What do spastics call their goldfish?Mnnnnnghghghg nummmnuuhhhh!
- Did you hear about the spastic who won the disco dancing contest?He only walked across the stage to buy an ice cream.
- It is just me or do spastics never stop moaning?
- Stephen Hawking and Christopher Reeve walk into a bar...Oh Wait.
- How do you kill a bunch of retards on a bus?Put poison on the windows.
- Why did the Nazis invent swastikas?To crucify spastics.
- I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance."Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!"
- What"s black and runs into walls?Jordan"s baby.
- I like to steal other people"s jokes due to my illness: "Being a Tosser"
- Two spastics go up to an ice-cream van and say, "Can we have a couple of 99"s please?"The ice-cream man says, "Certainly, would you like chocolate or strawberry sauce?"They say, "It doesn"t really matter, mate... we"re gonna drop "em anyway."
- I live near a remedial school.There"s a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".That can"t be good for their self-esteem...
- What do you call a spastic in a wheelchair?Anything you want, they"ll just smile and try to hug you.
- how do you get 5 spastics in a police car?
one in the front three in the back and one on top of the car going nee noor nee noor nee noor!
- what did the spaz have for its breakfast? his shoulder