Song jokes

• Some mornings I wake up bitchyOther mornings I let her sleep.
• I have just been interviewing people for a post at my work.The first guy was fresh from university and very eager.The second guy had a degree and five years experience.The woman had two degrees and twelve years experience.Of course I employed the woman, as I only have to pay her half as much.
• What do you show to a woman who has been driving accident-free for 10 years?..Second gear.
• I wanted to ask my wife her honest view on sexist jokes.But she was too busy doing the cooking.
• Sheila"s Wheels (Mans Version)Fellas, aren"t you glad you"re not a womanYou"re not a Sheila,You"re a Peter or a CliveBecause their lack of spatial awarenessMakes them really fucking carelessYou should never ever let a woman drive.When a girl is sitting at the wheelYou"re gonna hear the crunch of steel,There"s a very real danger that she"ll crash into a stranger,If you want to leave the car aliveNever let a woman drive.Beware the Peugeot 206They"re only ever bought by chicks.And their usual destinationIs the central reservationIf there"s any hope that you"ll survive.Never let a woman driveIf you ever let a bird reverseYou"re gonna end up in a hearse,You"re in massive fucking peril if your driver"s name is Cheryl,If you want to leave the car aliveNever let a woman drive.___________________________Or to hear it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yXSx5ltW-0
• Lisa Stansfield is rereleasing one of her classic songs for Maddie McCann as a request by her parents:Been around the world and I, I, I, I can"t find my baby.
• What"s with all the anti-police jokes on here?Every Breath You Take is a brilliant song.
• A friend just won"t stop going on about this idea for a musical he has."There"s no need to make a song and a dance about it," I said.