Smell jokes

• How do you confuse a blind lesbian?Take her to a fish market.
• Why do black people drive with their windows up?They think the smell is coming from outside.
• What is the difference between a 69 and a Paki wedding?With a 69 you only have to kiss one smelly cunt.
• I keep hearing about all these Muslim teenagers being brainwashed. Well, at least that"s one part of their body that won"t smell.
• Two Dyslexics working in a kitchen.The first say"s "Can you smell Gas?"The second replies "I can"t even smell my own name!!"
• Following the horrific murders of two French students in a South London flat, it transpires the first police officer on the scene had to rush to open the window to be sick. PC Hargreaves later said, "the stench of garlic was overwhelming and I doubt they"d had a bath since they arrived here".
• Two old age pensioners are having a 69. After 5 minutes he says, "Sorry luv the smell"s too bad down there - I can"t carry on." "That"ll be my arthritis," she says. "What? I never heard of anyone having arthritis in their fanny before." "No," she says, "It"s in my arms and hands... I can"t wipe me arse."
• Dr. Who lands the TARDIS on planet Earth way back in the Dark Ages, in a faraway land we now call Bangladesh."Where the bleedin" hell are we?" asks his companion, Donna."Well," replies the Doctor, leaving the Tardis and walking around, "judging by that disgusting smell and the fact that we appear to be surrounded by towelheads (little sheet heads) with no significant intelligence living in caves and mud huts... this is Bradford 2008!"
• A man went fishing and hadn"t caught a thing in four hours, when all of a sudden the local vicar turned up and cast his rod into the stream and within half an hour his keep net was full! The man is getting quite pissed off at this so decides to ask the vicar how he does it. The vicar kindly tells him "Well my son, go home tonight and rub your hand between your wifes legs, and then rub it in with all your worms and the smell will attract the fish!".The man thinks this is a good idea so he goes home and sees the wife standing by the stove cooking dinner, he goes up to her, sticks his hand up her skirt and starts rubbing away.The wife giggles and says "Oh hello vicar, off fishing again?"
• People say that the French are unhygienic for not showering but, on the other hand, their armpits get a good airing every time there"s a war.
• I was in a nightclub the other night, and this girl says to me, "what have you got on? It smells lovely."I said, "well, I"ve got a hard-on, but I didn"t think you could smell it!"