Shop jokes

• A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.The guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"The customer says, "Female"The counter guy asks, "Black or white?"The customer says, "White"The counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"The customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"The counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"
• The worst thing you can ask in Ann Summers?"Do you do child sizes?"
• I went into a record shop and asked, "do you have anything by the Doors?"The assistant said, "yes, a fire extinguisher and a bucket of sand."
• A Yank goes into a Record shop in London."Hi buddy boy,looking for a song about someone intelligent in America"So the bloke hands him "An Englishman in New York".
• A tramp walks into a jewellers, puts his hands down his trousers and starts fingering his arsehole. The sales assistant shouts at him "Stop what you"re doing and get out!" The tramp says "You want to make your fucking minds up, you"ve a sign on the window says come inside and pick your ring in comfort."
• Searching for survivors after an earthquake in Pakistan, rescuers hear a noise from a pile of rubble.A frail Paki voice shouts, "don"t go, we"re still open."
• A man walks into a clock shop, whips out his knob and puts it on the counter.The girl behind the counter says, "excuse me sir, this is a clock shop, not a cock shop."To which the man replies, "that"s okay, just put two hands and a face on this then."
• When I was a kid I used to hang around sex shops trying to get in.Now I"m an adult I try the same at Toys shops.
• INFATUATION CUNT!That is the answer, but what was the question?A Paki goes into a chip shop and asks, "how are the chips cooked?"
• An old guy is working in a general store, which sells EVERYTHING. He gets a young guy to help him, and he asks him if he has ever sold before. The young guy says "No". The old guy says " Watch me ". A customer comes in and asks for a box of grass seed. The old guy obliges and says, " Can I interest you in a lawnmower?".The customer says "A lawnmower??? " The old guy says " Sure, we have a sale, you"re going to need one. Why not buy it now ? " and he sells the customer a lawnmower. The old salesman says to the young newcomer " You see, he came in for a 3 quid box of grass seed, and I sold him a 200 quid lawnmower!".The young guy says " Let me try ". A man walks in, and the young guy says " Good morning, sir, can I help you?" The guy says " Yes, I"d like a box of Tampax!". The young guy sells it to him, and then asks "Can I interest you in a lawnmower? " The customer says" A lawnmower?????" The young guy says " Well, your weekend"s fucked up, you might as well cut the grass ! "