Sexism jokes

• If a woman says something, and no man is present to hear it, is it still wrong?
• Why do women have two sets of lips?One set to bitch at you with, and the other to apologise with.
• Why do women have faces? So you know which cunt is yours...
• Why is the part of a woman between her hips and her breasts called a waist?Because they could have easily fitted in another pair of tits there.
• I swept this bird off her feet today.Roundhouse kick to the tits usually does it.
• Did you hear about the woman run over by a motorcycle?Police are still trying to work out why a motorcycle ran through a kitchen.
• Why did the woman cross the road?Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
• Scientists have discovered that there is intelligent DNA in some women. Unfortunately 95% of them spat it out!
• How many people does it take to write a sexist joke?Two. The man to dictate it, and the woman to fucking type it.
• This political correctness has gone mad. I can"t even refer to my child as "my disabled son". Apparently the correct term these days is "daughter".
• The BBC have decided to air a television programme entitled: "Why Men Aren"t Sexists." It"s aimed at feminists and women in general who are frustrated with the way in which men see them in society.After careful planning, it has been scheduled to begin at 8:00pm.This allows women plenty of time to cook the dinner and wash up before the programme starts.
• There were three blondes stuck on an island and they had been there for a few days, when they stumbled across a magical lamp. One of the blonde"s rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out and offers to grant each of them a wish. The first blond says, "Make me smart so I can think of a way to get off this island."He points his finger at her, and she turns into a redhead. Then she heads to the water and swims towards land. The next blond says, "Make me even smarter than her so I can get off this island!"So he points his finger and she becomes a brunette, and she builds a boat and sets sail. The last one says "Make me smarter than both of them combined!!"The genie points his finger at her and turns her into a man, the man then walks across the foot bridge back to mainland.
• Feminism: it"s fine as a hobby but it"s not going to get you a husband.