Semen jokes

• What has a used condom and the Herald of Free Enterprise got in common?They are both full of dead semen!
• This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.I found that a bit hard to swallow.
• A blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates.Only 10% of that actually goes into its mate.Ever wondered why the sea tasted so salty?
• Why is Madeleine McCann like a submarine?Both are 10 feet under and full of seamen.
• A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms."What size?" asks the clerk?"Gee, I don"t know.""Go see Sophie in aisle 4."He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.A high school kid comes in to buy condoms."What size?" The kid embarrassedly says "I"ve never done this before. I don"t know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him, and then yells,"Clean up in aisle 4!"
• What"s the difference between make-up and semen?Madeleine McCann will never have her face plastered with make-up.
• I"m not sure about Bukakke...I mean it"s just so in your face.
• A new study reveals that using a laptop can reduce men"s sperm count. I don"t know if this is true, but they can definitely lower semen count, especially if you visit the right sites......I have conducted this study first hand.
• Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?Because it"s full of Arab semen.
• A woman is crawling across the floor on all fours with sperm dribbling out of both sides of her mouth. What does this tell you?The floor"s level!
• A Shopworker feels horny and decides to have a wank there and then. Frapping away he hears the owner approaching, he panics and shoves his cock in the till."You look happy!" says the owner."Yeah," replies the worker, "I"ve just come into some money."