Scum jokes

• 3 Celtic fans walk into a bar. A priest, a poof and a paedophile.....And that was just the first one!
• What will a Liverpool fan do when Liverpool win the Premiership?Turn off his playstation.
• Why are niggers like sperm?Only 1 in a Million actually works
• Why are cigarettes like Pikeys?They smell to high heaven, come in packs of 20 and are barred out of every pub in England.
• How do you know when petrol prices are at their highest?London taxi drivers start to take the shortest route.
• A car was towed today in Liverpool when a suspicous object was found on the windscreen. It was later identified as a tax disc.
• How do you make a chav take off his socks?Ask him to count to twenty.
• What ship has never docked in Liverpool?The Premiership
• (100% true) I noticed one of the local "Benefits Families" at a petrol station. You know the sort- where no-one works as they are all on hand outs (yet still can afford a car, of course.)Anyway, they were complaining about the "High Taxes" on petrol.Stupid, hypocritical fucks. Where exactly do they think their money comes from to buy the petrol in the first place?
• I don"t agree with Vodafone"s advertising campaign.It states "Be part of the worlds largest mobile community"Now correct me if I"m wrong but that"s the Gypsies!
• What"s the most confusing day of the year for a chav?Father"s day.
• I seem to be seeing a lot of people out walking Staffordshire Bull Terriers at the moment, especially round Council Estates and the like. I"ll be honest, I really don"t like them. They are ugly, muscular, vicious, unintelligent and seem liable to attack you for no reason. Their dogs, on the other hand, I quite like.
• The atmosphere at Sunderland matches is brilliant and everybody knows each other.I suppose that"s one advantage of inbreeding.