School jokes

• Times really do change, when I was at school I always used to dream of fucking a teacher.Now I am a teacher all I seem to do is dream of fucking a pupil.
• I had my first sexual experience at infants school, I shagged little Jenny Jenkins behind the bike sheds.She said I was better at Fucking than teaching Maths.
• I remembered today that the kids are back to school soon, so I rushed out and bought my daughter a uniform.I tell you what, she makes one fucking sexy French Maid.
• A policeman came up to me yesterday and said, "so, where were you between four and six?"I said, "fucking Primary School."
• Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.Please give just a small donation of £2 and we will send you the video; it"s fucking hilarious!
• I don"t know what"s happening in this country. You"ve got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It"s a nightmare - you don"t know whether to carry sweets or money.
• A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can"t believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving."Excuse me do I know you?" he asks."Yes, I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says.The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says, "Fucking hell, are you the bird I shagged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me, and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?""No," she replies, "I"m your son"s English teacher!"
• My daughter"s new school uniform is really quite slutty.That"s just one of the benefits of home-schooling.
• Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question."Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?""None," replied Johnny, ""Cause the rest would fly away.""Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?""Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?""No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."
• Schoolgirls are claiming that, during the summer holidays, they are bombarded with a large number of sexually explicit (and somewhat desperate) messages on sites such as Facebook. Don"t worry girls, it will all calm down in September - when the teachers go back to work.
• A blonde began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I"m the fucking goalie."
• What was Michelle McManus" favourite musical instrument at school?The dinner bell.
• little billy put his hand up said to the teacher,hey teach i want a piss,teacher replies billy you must say i need a number one,bit later billy puts his hand up again and says teach i want a shit,teacher says no billy you must say i need a number two,anyway later little johny put his hand up and says to the teacher it not for me but Billy he wants to fart but doesnt know the code number.