Schizophrenic jokes

• Of all the hilarious events at the Paralympics, my favourite would have to be the schizophrenic boxing.
• Did you know that every two in one people are schizophrenic?
• I wish my wife would get schizophrenia so she can spend all day nagging herself.
• A schizophrenic bumped into me on the tube todayWho the hell does he think he is!
• Now that the Paralympics have started, I for one am really looking forward to the schizophrenic boxing.
• I suppose if I had a choice between diseases, I would prefer to be a schizophrenic kleptomaniac.After all, you never feel alone....and if it gets too bad, you can always take something for it.
• A schizophrenic man walks past a notice board at a university announcing a lecture."I have half a mind to go to that", he thinks.
• TIP OF THE DAY!!!Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic and say, "just who do you think you are?"
• "Doctor, doctor, I think I"m schizophrenic""Well, that makes four of us"
• I went to a Schizophrenic"s anonymous meeting today.I stood up and said "Hello, my name is Andy, and I"m John..."
• My Doctor told me I"m a Paranoid Schizophrenic.We think he"s out to get us
• Did you know that I"m schizophrenic?Not really - he"s just joking.
• I used to be schizophrenic, but we"re ok now.
• There's a schizophrenic transvestite bloke down the road. Hard as nails. There's two you don't want to fuck with!
• I'm not Schizophrenic... Neither am I