Red jokes

• What do you call a ginger goth?Duracell.
• Scientists have discovered that many men in the UK have penises measuring 3 inches or less.To help solve this problem, they have asked them to identify themselves by flying a white flag with a red cross from their cars.
• Whats black, white and red all over?Michael Jackson caught in the act.
• How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?It depends how hard you throw them.
• I know Lewis Hamilton is a rookie driver but...not knowing what a red light means?
• Red riding hood was walking through the forest when all of a sudden the big bad wolf jumped out and said "Take your blouse off so I can suck your tits!". Red riding hood pulls down her knickers lies on the ground and says "Fuck off, eat me like the book fuckin says!!"
• Dave the Scouser is touring the USA. Along the way, he stops off at a remote bar in the Nevada desert and chats to the bartender when he spots a Red Indian in full tribal dress seated in the corner of the bar."Blimey!" remarks Dave. "Who"s he?""Gee, that"s the memory man," replies the bartender. "He knows everything there is to know. Got a memory like an elephant, he can remember any fact. Heck, go and try him out!"Dave heads over to the Red Indian, thinking that he can outsmart him with a question about English football.He asks the memory man, "Who won the 1965 FA cup final?""Liverpool," came the instantaneous reply.Dave was stunned. He tried again asking, "Who did they beat?""Leeds," replied the memory man.Dave tried once more asking, "What was the final score?"The wise Red Indian didn"t hesitate in answering, "2-1."Dave thinks he"ll get smart, asking the memory man for the name of the winning goal scorer. Without so much as blinking, the Red Indian says, "Ian St John."Dave is stunned and returns home to Liverpool, where he tells everyone about the Red Indian. Dave"s curiosity lingers, and he vows to return to American and pay his respects to the Indian. Ten years later, Dave finally saved up enough money to return and, after weeks of searching the Nevada desert, once more he finds the Red Indian, now in a cave.Humbled by the Red Indian, Dave steps forward, bows, and greets the brave in his traditional tongue."How," Dave says.The memory man squints at him and replies, "A diving header in the six-yard box."
• Roses are red,Violets are blue,I"ve got Alzheimer"s,This little piggy went to market.
• What"s red and bad for your teeth?A brick.
• What"s black and white and red all over?An inter-racial couple in a car crash.
• What"s Red White And Full Of Cunts?The Emirates Stadium
• What"s red and silver, and walks into walls?A baby with forks in its eyes.
• A tourist is walking through the red light district in Amsterdam when he sees a fine looking lady. He approaches her and taps on the window. "How Much?", he asks. "1000 euros", the woman replies. "Wow, thats quite a lot isn"t it?""Yes. Well it is double-glazed."