Pool jokes

• Why is Don King like Michael Barrymore?Both will see you get a good fisting in the ring!
• Newsflash: The Olympic Swimming Pool was evacuated earlier today when reports came in of a shark being seen in the water.Investigation into the incident revealed that the cause of the scare was Rebecca Adlington doing the backstroke.
• The swimming pool: where erectile dysfunction really pays for itself.
• Never have sex after 10 pints.The reason? Well, just imagine playing pool with a piece of rope.
• I was on holiday in France, relaxing at the side of the pool, when a stray dog jumped in.I thought, "how unhygienic...a French public swimming pool."
• The English Channel is generally considered to be the most hazardous stretch of water in the world.Apart from the shallow end of Michael Barrymore"s pool.
• Why doesn"t Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays?He puts his fags out in the pool.
• An Arab has been found dead at the bottom of Michael Barrymore"s swimming pool.Apparently it was a suicide bummer.
• Part 1:What"s yellow and blue, and sits at the bottom of a swimming pool?A baby with slashed arm bands.Part 2:What pink, red and yellow, and floats on top of a swimming pool?Arm bands with a slashed baby.
• A man rings up his home while he is at work to check if every thing is okay. A small boy answers the phone."Hello son, can I speak to mum?" the Dad asks."No, she"s fucking the milkman," replies the son."Alright son, go and grab the gun from the attic and shoot them both!" demands the Father.So the everything goes quiet and the Dad hears two gun shots. The son picks up the phone again."I"ve got lots and lots of blood on me!""Just wash it off the pool!" The Dad orders"...Pool...We don"t have a pool...""Wait a minute...This is 0208 875 9420?"