Polish jokes

• The 2012 Olympics in London are going to be an amazing cultural experience. Imagine the hordes of international fans - Poles, Czechs, Russians, Hungarians, Latvians, Africans, Jamaicans, Indians, Pakistanis, Iraqis, Turks, Greeks, Thais, Australians, South Africans - all of whom will have travelled as many as 10 miles to watch these games.
• What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?A new last name.
• What do you get if you combine a Polish person with a Scouser?Someone who steals all the jobs.
• Poland is just like the UK, only with fewer Polish people.
• How does an Englishman get his apples down?He uses a Pole.
• The latest poll taken by the UK yielded results on whether or not people who live in UK think illegal immigration is a serious problem: a) 39% of the respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem." b) 61% of the respondents answered: "To nie stanowi powaznego problemu."
• I find it shocking that 55% of Europeans are now saying that they avoid coming to Britain through concerns over knife crime, and that each reported knife attack puts off thousands of potential migrants to the UK. Furthermore fear of knife-brandishing homeowners and "no-go areas" is forcing more and more door to door salesmen to quit and find other jobs.And there I was thinking knife crime was a BAD thing. Silly me!
• A survey across England, asked the general public whether they preferred to be known as "British" or "English".The overwhelming majority answered, "Polish."
• A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver"s license. He sent off all the forms and all was fine but he was asked to take an eye test.So off he goes and gets himself an appointment the same day, and sits down in the examining chair.The optician showed him a card with the letters"C Z W I X N O S T A C Z." "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
• I was doing a survey in London- the question was "What are your views on Migration to the UK?"7% of people asked said they thought it was a good thing.12% of people asked said they thought it was a bad thing.And 81% of people asked didn"t speak English.
• What do you get if you cross a Pakistani woman with a Polish man? Nothing- there are some things even the Polish won"t do.
• I nearly walked into a pole the other day.God, they"re everywhere these days!