Phone jokes

• Fe Fi Fo Fum???Chris Eubanks phone number!!
• How come when you ring a wrong number, its never engaged.
• What do you call a Paki in a mobile phone shop?Tariff
• All that phone sex has caught up with me...I have hearing-aids
• How do you make your girlfriend cry during sex?Phone her up
• West Midlands police are looking for a "racist attacker". I phoned the information line but apparently its not a job advertisment!
• The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn"t want to be rude, so I replied "Not too bad thanks."After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to?"Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?"The next thing I heard him say was "sorry mate, I"ll have to call you back. I"ve got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."
• Barclay"s are apparently "Fluent in Finance."Well, that"s fantastic. Its just a shame none of the fucking Indians that answer their phones are fluent in English.
• I"ve been saving a fortune lately. Instead of spending a fortune ringing expensive sex lines, I ring the Samaritans and say, "talk dirty or I"ll kill myself!"
• I don"t agree with Vodafone"s advertising campaign.It states "Be part of the worlds largest mobile community"Now correct me if I"m wrong but that"s the Gypsies!
• Women have it easy these days. They can get sex whenever they want.Any women who disagree with this, call me on 0792 191 2527 (London) and I"ll prove it.
• Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away."Where do you live?" asked the operator.Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How "bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
• Don"t bother wasting money on subscribing to expensive adult web sites or calling 0898 phone numbers.Just phone your local department store and ask them to describe their latest selection of ladies" lingerie, while masturbating furiously.