Petrol jokes

• How do you stop a black guy from going out?Pour on some more fuel
• Me and the guys are really being inconvenienced by the fucking hike in petrol prices.We had to resort to putting firelighters through our local Pakis letterboxes.
• Due to rising petrol prices, Volkswagen have released a hydrogen vehicle, the VW Hindenburg. The market is expecting a boom.
• Gordon Brown never goes to brothels like most politiciansHe can just go to the local petrol station, hes already fucked everyone there
• When I got home last night my wife demanded I take her somewhere expensive.So I took her to a petrol station.
• After the war, the plan is to divide Iraq into three parts... unleaded, premium, and diesel.
• Petrol tanker drivers have gone on strike, saying they want more money for the danger of driving about with thousands of gallons of highly explosive liquid attached to their backs.A Shell spokesman said; "There are thousands of Muslims out there who would kill for a job like that!"
• A man was arrested in London, found pouring petrol on Muslims and setting fire to them.When the Police asked him what he was doing he said, "about 10 to the gallon".
• Shhhhhh!!.......Don"t tell anyone...... I"m gonna go down on you.......And you"re gonna love it...................But it"s only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it............Then I"m gonna come back up again and fuck you big time.....Lots of love,Petrol prices xx
• Petrol is way too fucking expensive these days. I actually can"t afford to drive. Last time I went dogging, I had to ask my mum to give me a lift.
• There is hell to pay in Bradford tonight.Petrol had gone up by another 5 rupee"s
• It"s now official, beer is cheaper than fuel.So this summer: "Drink, Don"t Drive"
• I have been using the new Shell V-Power petrol that is meant to clean out your engine as you use it.I"ve found it works on my wallet too...
• What"s the difference between petrol and paraffin?There"s no "F" in petrol!