Pervert jokes

• What about the rumours David Cameron smoked drugs as a schoolboy? What worries me most is that he dressed up as a schoolboy to do it, the pervert.
• Why did the pervert cross the road?Because his cock was stuck in the chicken!
• Did you hear about the guy placed on the sex-offenders list for simulating sex with a bicycle in his hotel room?He was bike-urious.
• I never realised just how much women scream, until I bought some binoculars and started to really *study* them.
• When I was naughty at school, the headmaster used to give me "six of the best".Now I"m grown up I bet I could take the other 2 inches.
• What"s Josef Fritzl"s favourite chat-up line?"Fancy a bit of how"s-your-father?"
• My wife said to me yesterday that I"m immature and childish. I replied to her, "if I"m a child that means you"re a paedophile, and I"ll be damned if I"m going stand here and take this from a pervert."
• Gosh, Wednesday was cold, wasn"t it? It was so cold, our town flasher ran up and described himself.
• Last night I was horny and the Mrs was up on blocks, so I snuck into my 13 year old daughters room. "Do you want to be like mummy and make daddy happy?" I asked. "Sure" she said, so I slipped my trousers off and quick as a flash she said "I"ve got a headache and before you think about putting that anywhere near me I need some new shoes".Bitch.
• Michael Barrymore has been sacked from this years Panto of Snow White because of his mood swings.One minute he"d be feeling Happy, and the next minute he"d come all over Grumpy.