Period jokes

• There was a young vampire called MabelWith periods exceedingly stableBy the light of the moonShe sat down with a spoonAnd drank herself under the table
• How do you confuse an archaeologist?Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
• How do you know when Mystic Meg is on her period?You get your palm red.
• How was the red sea made?Over a very long period.
• I went through a bit of a tough period a while back in my life...well I say tough period, it might have been a miscarriage...
• What"s the closest thing to a woman"s period?Your Salary - It comes once a month, lasts between 5 and 7 days and if it doesn"t come you"re fucked!
• A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home." The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you make today?" The Aussie said "One." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" "£101 237.64" The Aussie replied. The manager choked and exclaimed £101 237.64? What the hell did you sell him?" "Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then, I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn"t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?". "No no no......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said........."Well, since your weekend"s fucked, you might as well go fishing!""
• I thought I"d try modern art because it seems pretty easy, so I found a used tampon and wiped it all over my desk at work.I called it the Periodic Table.
• What"s the difference between PMT and BSE?One attacks the cow"s brain and sends it fucking mental, and the other is some kind of agricultural problem
• The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude, but eventually his turn came.Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn"t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was."It"s a period," reported Johnnie."Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period.""Buggered if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted and the man next door shit himself."
• Little Julie gets her first period.Feeling uncomfortable about talking to her parents, she decides to ask Johnny next door. She whips up her skirt and shows him where she"s bleeding from.After a few minutes, Johnny scratches his chin and says, "well, I"m no expert, but it looks like someone"s ripped your bollocks off!"
• What"s the difference between a French women and a basketball team?The basketball team showers after 4 periods.