Pedo jokes

• I loved Gary Glitter when I was younger.Never knew the feeling was mutual...
• What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common?Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
• My daughter had a charades party for her birthday.After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads.It would seem, that holding my cock and wanking, furiously, while staring at my daughters friends is not the best way to do Gary glitter.
• When I was a kid I was very ill in hospital and Gary Glitter came to visit me.I was touched.
• It is now illegal to wear your clothes on the wrong part of your body.Take Gary Glitter for example; he was jailed for putting a Thai on his cock.
• What do Harold Shipman and Gary Glitter have in common?They both enjoyed euthanasia.
• I went for a drive in the country today and picked up a twelve year old hitching a lift to the next village. I knew my luck was in when she asked if I had any sweets.
• One of my colleagues left the S&M factory last week to retire. We had a whip around before she went.
• The new Gary Glitter Driving School.The more minors you get, the higher your chance of passing.
• Gosh, Wednesday was cold, wasn"t it? It was so cold, our town flasher ran up and described himself.
• Do you work in an environment with predominantly women? If so, you will probably find them constantly talking about their kids and how much of a nightmare the little bastards are and then how they are so proud of the brats. They seem to think it"s the most interesting subject in the world; they even get their photos out from their handbags and mobile phones.It"s not the fact that this is boring that bothers me, it"s just really hard to get away from your desk with an erection.
• I think I befriended a pedo stingThis chick"s been 14 for 2 years now
• Whats the difference between Gary Glitter and Colin Mcrae? Only one kid went down on Mcrae"s chopper!
• Q: How do you make a six-year-old girl cry twice? A: Fuck her in the ass, then wipe your dick on her teddy bear.
• Q: What's the best part about 6 year old girls? A: After you're done with them, you can turn them over and use them as 6 year-old boys!
• Q-- What's the worst thing about having a baby? A-- Putting the nappy back on afterwards.
• Q-- What's the best thing about fucking 26 year olds? A-- There's 20 of them.
• Q-- What's the worst thing about screwing a 3 year old? A-- Getting blood on your clown suit.
• Man walking through the woods at night with a little boy. BOY: "These woods sure are scary!" MAN: "Dunno what you're complaining about-I have to walk home alone..."
• Young Susan asks her dad if she can borrow the car. DAD: "Only if you suck my cock, Susan. You know the rules..." Susan sighs and drops to her knees. Dad whips his unit out and she plants her lips around it. Instantly she recoils in disgust. SUSAN: "Eurrghh! It tastes like shit!" DAD: " Yeah, your brother wanted to borrow twenty bucks..."
• A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?" "Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!" The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home." Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher." "That's right, Dad." "Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for." "That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."
• Ryan rings his boss at work and says"Look,i`m really sorry,but i can`t come to work today,i`m sick". "Sick!" screams his boss "Sick! This is the tenth time this month, Ryan.Exactly how sick are you?" "Well",replies Ryan."I`m in bed with my 9 year old sister"
• Dad is sat at home watching TV, when his 9 year daughter comes home from school. He looks up and she is in tears. Her school blouse is ripped open and her skirt is hitched up and dishevelled. "What the fuck happened?" He demands "Well" she replied in tearful sobs and almost hysterical, "I was walking home from school and I took the shortcut through the back lanes" "AND? AND?" screams Dad trying to get more info Sob Sob said the little girl "Some man dragged me into the bushes and tore at my blouse" "OMG, What happened?" asks dad sob sob cried the poor little girl "He then put his hand up my skirt" "NO!" shouts Dad "Then?" Crying through heavy sobs she replies "I cant remember, I blacked out" "WELL MAKE IT UP, MAKE IT UP!!!" shouts dad as he starts wanking.
• Guess what ive just been chatting to a 14 year old girl on the internet. Shes funny, sexy and very flirty. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop...How cool is that at her age...