Peado jokes

• Chloroform: Putting the sensual into non-consensual.
• Images of dead and rotting corpses will soon be added to cigarette packets leaving many people unhappy.I however am all for it, cigarettes AND something to wank over!
• Friend of mines just had a ginger babyI told her to keep its head shaved and say its got cancer
• Me and my wife were arguing over the phone the other day.In the end I told her she could keep the fucker.
• I get my gas from the Electric Co. and I get my electric from the Gas Board. My phone comes through a television company and I pay my water rates to a firm at the other end of the country.So I went to the Town Hall to opt out of my local Council Tax, and into this new, free Scottish Council Tax.No fucking chance!
• I like my woman like my wine... about ten-years-old and uncorked.
• My wife asked me to buy her sexy underwear I would like to see her in.When I brought them back she went mental! Apparently Mothercare was not the place to shop.
• My wife chucked me out a week before my birthday.She planned to buy me a lovely pair of shoes so she asked what I wanted.I replied, "I like my shoes like I like my women: 10-11 and tight."
• On a scale of 1-10, how old is Gary Glitter"s girlfriend?
• Yesterday at work, I told some paedo jokes from this site.Today, I"m not paediatrician anymore.
• after the arrest of shannon"s father press quizzed the police"when did you begin to suspect something was up?""when we saw the wife!"