Party jokes

• Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!
• What do you call 500 epileptics in a disco?A foam party.
• I was in Woolworths the other day. They had a Prince figurine on sale for £20.Still, I partied like it was £19.99
• Have you heard? There is a party at Virginia Tech tonight.Free shots for all students.
• I fucked this tasty bird at a party yesterday.I was going for seconds but her mum called her. To come and blow her candles out.
• My daughter had a charades party for her birthday.After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads.It would seem, that holding my cock and wanking, furiously, while staring at my daughters friends is not the best way to do Gary glitter.
• How do you ruin a party?Make Gordon Brown the leader.
• I once went 12 years without any sex, drugs or alcohol......my GOD, my dad knows how to throw a good 13th birthday party!
• Went to a bulimic birthday party today. I saw a cake pop out of a girl.
• A friend of mine tried to talk to me into going to a party tonight. "Come on," he said, "you might meet the woman of your dreams."I said no. I"m not sure I want to be seen in public with that filthy slut.
• What game do policemen"s children play?Pin the rape on the darkie.
• A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party.The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.So he took his costume and away he went.The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early decided go to the party. As her husband didn"t know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you"re not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"He replied, "I"ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening.""You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad. Apparently he had the time of his life."
• My Daughter got in late from a party.I said to her, "I hope you"ve been good!"She said, "Good! If that fella I met was telling the truth, I was fucking fantastic!"
• Top Tip!!Office Managers, need to reduce staffing levels but can"t decide who to lay off?Have a game of musical chairs. The loser is made redundant and has already had their leaving party.