Park jokes

• I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
• I asked my deaf/mute neighbour to stop parking his car on my drive.He got quite angry,you should have seen the language.
• What do you call a prostitute in a wheel chair?Park and ride.
• Rape.. Its not just a walk in the park you know
• I was watching his guy pushing his baby around the park today.Think he would have been quicker if he used a buggy.
• I was sitting in the park last week chewing a sweet when a little girl came over and asked if she could have a sweet.I said, "I only have one left, sorry." She looked a bit sad so I gave her one.Then I ate my last sweet.
• Two paedophiles are sat on a park bench when a 15 year old girl walks by.The first paedo turns to the other and says, "Hey, I bet she was a goer in her time."
• As I was walking through my local park, I saw a bloke touching up a little girl with one hand and wanking with his other. I was furious.I raced over and kicked the fuck out of him and told him to piss off.As he ran off, I shouted after him, "this is my patch, get your own fucking girls!"
• I"m as bored as a midget in a theme park.
• My old man"s a Spurs fan. He is that disappointed with their recent bad form, yesterday he nailed his season ticket to a tree in the park.He had second thoughts today and went back to collect it.Someone had nicked the nail.
• For decades two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park until, one day, an angel came down from heaven and approached the statues."You"ve been such exemplary statues," the angel announced to them, "that I"m going to give you a special gift. I"m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly could be heard a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.Grinning widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I"ll crap on its head!"
• I was in my car the other day when I saw someone strutting from a disabled parking space, walking fine.So, I thought I"d make an honest man of him and run him over. He went mad.And his mother was worse! She started hitting me with her crutches.