Paralympics jokes

• With all these retards having a good time at the Paralympics, Currys are a bit short staffed at the moment.
• The opening ceremony for the Paralympics has been cancelled after the blind Olympic Torch Bearer got lost in South Korea.Apparently the fuckers have eaten his guide dog
• After the success of the British Team at this years Olympic Games, we are hoping for the same from our Paralympic squad.Apparently we are expecting a Gold in the synchronised dribbling and the Window Licking team are rumoured to be a bit Special too.
• Due to the large amount of landmines in Africa, they seem to have an unfair advantage in their entries to the Paralympics.
• I saw the Paralympic schedule on the Beijing 2008 website and was surprised to see that the Equestrian was a Paralympic event...How do they get the wheelchair on the horse?
• The Iranians have refused to play against the USA in the Wheelchair Basketball at the Paralympics. Talk about ingratitude!With their indiscriminate bombing campaign, the Americans have provided more invalids in the Middle East than anybody else.
• Britain has picked up another gold medal at the Paralympics after middleweight boxer Sid Johnson licked his Russian opponent in the final.
• What does a Paralympian fear the most? Testing positive for WD-40.
• Apparently, the National Press in the UK has stated there are 4.2 million people on Incapacity/Disabled Benefits.Paralympics is ours FUCKERS!!!!!
• On arrival back home, a spokesman for the USA Paralympic team gave this speech:"TIMMMYYYYYYY"
• Do they have reserved parking places for "normal" people at the special Olympics?
• Britain"s Paralympic champions were in tears today after their coach explained there is no chocolate inside the gold medals.
• It"s time the supermarkets got rid of all these fucking disabled parking spaces.They can"t start bleating about not having enough training facilities for the Olympic Games if they can"t even be arsed to carry a tin of beans a few yards further to the car.
• I don"t know why some people are kicking up such a fuss at some members of the England football team not singing the national anthem.Last week I was watching the Paralympics and some of our gold medalists couldn"t even be bothered to stand up for it.
• Some positive news from China after the recent earthquake. They are confident that they will have the largest team at this year"s paralympics
• Britain"s paralympic cycling gold medal winner has tested positive for using performance enhancers.Stabilisers.
• The Paralympics is to start soon; so take care not to offend any disabled people nearby...by referring to it as "The Real Robot Wars"