Paki jokes

• The 2012 Olympics in London are going to be an amazing cultural experience. Imagine the hordes of international fans - Poles, Czechs, Russians, Hungarians, Latvians, Africans, Jamaicans, Indians, Pakistanis, Iraqis, Turks, Greeks, Thais, Australians, South Africans - all of whom will have travelled as many as 10 miles to watch these games.
• Its really interesting - Amir Khan enters the ring as a British Sporting Icon, and leaves as a fucking paki.
• A mate of mine was explaining that the reason Muslim women wear veils is so that no man will find her sexually tempting. But surely that could be achieved much more easily by her NOT wearing a veil.
• As we approach the third anniversary of the London Tube/Bus Bombings we need to look to the future, and see that in an odd way, something positive came out of that day.Four dead pakis.
• NEWS FLASH! Major earthquake in Pakistan.500,000 dead.Australia sending food.USA sending shelter.Bradford sending replacements
• Pakis to the left of me, Niggers to the right!Here I am, Stuck in the middle of Crewe!
• Dear Points of View,I am appalled at the level of racism nowadays on the BBC. Last night I watched Crimewatch. It was all wogs, niggers, pakis and coons!
• Still no sign of Pakistan setting up an earthquake fund for Britain, is there? I say, next time they have one, fuck em!
• What do you call a Muslim desperate for a drink?Allah Vabeer
• I find it incredibly annoying and frustrating when people refer to the London Suicide bombers , the lot that blew themselves up on the 7th of July, as "Four Pakis." Lets get this right, please. Part of the process of healing is understanding, and admitting that this is a problem that affects us all. Prejudice is a two-way street. They were NOT "Four Fucking Pakis," to describe them as such is offensive and incorrect. They were three pakis and a nigger. Thank You.
• Yesterday I made a comment in which I referred to a Muslim as a "pigfucker." I now realise that this was deeply offensive and totally unjustified. The implication that anyone could lower themselves to have sex with a creature considered to be unclean, disgusting and downright immoral, is unjustifiable and offensive and as such I wish to offer a full apology to any pigs who might have been listening.
• A Paki went into a bar and asked, "could you recommend your finest port?""Yes," said the barman. "Dover, now fuck off."
• Recently I received a warning about the use of the term, "towel heads" A politically incorrect term. Please note, we all need to be more sensitive in our choice of words. I have been informed that the Islamic terrorists who hate our guts and want to kill us do not like to be called "Towel Heads" since the item they wear on their heads is not a towel but actually a small, folded sheet. Therefore, from this point forward, please refer to them as "Little Sheet Heads." Thank You for your support and compliance on this delicate matter.
• I"m not a racist - racism is a crime, and crime is for Black people.
• Barclay"s are apparently "Fluent in Finance."Well, that"s fantastic. Its just a shame none of the fucking Indians that answer their phones are fluent in English.
• What does the average Pakistani weigh?currys and chapatti"s.
• An Indian man on his death bed."Sanjita,my wife, are you here?""Yes, my husband""My son and daughter, are you here?""Yes, Papa.""Then who"s in the fucking shop?"
• How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?None: they"ll complain to the authorities that changing lightbulbs is against their religion and our stupid fucking government will lap it all up and change the whole country"s lifestyle so we can compensate for those lazy, sweaty, filthy, miserable, benefit thieving, rag-head Paki cunts!
• How do you make a white guy laugh?Set a Paki"s beard on fire.
• I keep hearing about all these Muslim teenagers being brainwashed. Well, at least that"s one part of their body that won"t smell.
• You know, if this Islam bollocks turns out to be true, everyone who takes the piss out of Muslims will be sent to hell by Allah.Ah well. At least there won"t be any Pakis down there.
• I"m having some problems with my new Staffordshire Bull Terrier- I rang the vet for some advice.I explained he was brown, stupid, aggressive and liable to attack anyone for no good reason.The vet replied " Muzzle "im? " No, I said- I think he"s an atheist.
• I was doing a survey in London- the question was "What are your views on Migration to the UK?"7% of people asked said they thought it was a good thing.12% of people asked said they thought it was a bad thing.And 81% of people asked didn"t speak English.
• A work colleague came back from holiday and asked me what I thought of her tan. My response, "You look like a Paki," probably wasn"t the best thing to say. Sorry Padmina.
• What's the diffrence between a paki and a bag of shit?the bag
• What's clear and lies in the gutter? A Paki with the shit kicked out of him!
• Good news!! I'm on dragons den next week... i've invented a land mine that looks like a prayer mat
• there was 12 pakis in there home that caught fire.They all shouted save me save me so I did as my wallpaper
• Grafitti recently seen, written above a toilet paper dispenser: "Emergency Turban Rapair Kit"
• A Paki and an Englishman were driving down the road when there cars collided head on.To there amazement neither one was hurt but both cars are write offs. In celebration of there good luck they agree to put there difference aside. So the Englishman goes to the boot of his car gets out a 12 year old malt whiskey and hands it to the Paki who exclaims "May the English and Pakistanis live in piece and harmony forever". and then gulps down half the bottle of whiskey.He goes the hand the bottle to the Englishman who replies "No thanks you fucking Paki bastard ill just wait until the poilce get here"
• What do you call 3 paki's Multi Pak