Olympics jokes

• I see the Chinese have taken Gold in the pistol shooting.The target was kneeling, blindfolded and facing in the other direction.
• The whole of Britain is already looking forward to the 2012 Olympics in London after our success in Beijing.All of Britain apart from Jade Goody that is, who shouldnt really even be looking forward to Christmas.
• Why is it that, at the Olympics, the white athletes win the shooting events and the black athletes win the running events?
• I saw some footage of all the Olympic athletes training before the games.The Chinese really stood out for me though, using the same athlete for all of the events.
• The Olympics: The only time black people ever run BEFORE they get the gold.
• Now that the NBA players are in China for the Olympics, do you think they will get a chance to meet the six year-olds that make their shoes?
• Olympic organisers are very disappointed that so few local children have been attending Olympic events. But, be fair, how could they? They were at work.
• The olympics: The only time where millions of people can watch a 14 year old in speedos and get away with it.
• According to Sebastian Coe, "There is no greater feeling than representing your country at the Olympics."Really? Surely having Angelina Jolie sitting on your cock, whilst you snort coke off Jessica Alba"s tits would feel greater?
• President Bush is rehearsing his speech for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. He begins his remarks with "Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh"Immediately his speech writer rushes over to the lectern and whispers in the President"s ear: "Mr President, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath."
• If any members of the Chinese Government or Olympic Organisers are reading this, I would like to make this firm statement on behalf of myself and millions of other Britons- We don"t give a fuck about Tibet. Now please get the beach volleyball started.
• Israel are considering pulling out of the Beijing Olympics due to the smoggy air conditions.The Chinese government says "it"s just harmless mist".An Israeli spokesman says " we are not falling for that one again "
• By the looks on the Chinese Olympian"s faces, they really need to turn those bright arena lights down a bit.
• Did ya hear the Special olympics got a new theme song for next year . Hey what's wrong with you , your looking kinda down to me