Obesity jokes

• I love living in a country with child obesity so high.It makes the children easier to catch when they run away.
• Obesity is really widespread.
• Research has found that clumsy children are at a higher risk of developing obesity in later life. Thank fuck for that, I always thought it was too many Burgers and Chocolates
• Avoid your body being surreptitiously filmed and used in a BBC news report about Britains obesity problem, by always wearing a T-shirt with "All newsreaders are cunts " written on it .
• Recent studies have shown that 60% of Americans suffer from obesity.The other 40% don"t seem to mind.
• I"ve been doing a lot of comfort eating lately.Tastes a bit funny but my breath smells great!
• The increase in adult obesity has apparently had the unexpected side effect of a drop in the number of child abductions. Offering kids empty sweet wrappers just isn"t working.
• More proof that Americans are obsessed with food!In our Acapulco holiday hotel, there was a sign stating:Breakfast 8 am - 11 am. Lunch 11 am - 3 pm.Coffee 3 pm - 6 pm. Dinner 6 pm - 11.30 pm.I overheard a fat American guy say to his XXL wife:"We should"ve chosen a different hotel, we"ll never get to the beach or see any sights with this friggin schedule!"
• The government has announced they will spend £150,000,000 on kitchens to help fight obesity.Isn"t that like opening brothels to help fight promiscuity?
• The wife"s been moaning at me for a while as I"ve piled on the pounds and developed a "spare tyre", so I went along to the doctor and asked if there was anything I can do.He said, "It"s simple. Don"t panic. Just do something a couple of times a week that gets you slightly out of breath." So I started smoking again.
• The American team, sponsored by McDonald"s, are expected to do well at the Paralympics.Ever since obesity was declared a disability, they have been training hard.