Obese jokes

• Apparently 60% of kids are overweight, and 72% of kids are having underage sex......So who is shagging all the fat kids?
• Did you know there are over 30 million obese children in the USA?If all of these children jumped up and down at the same time they might lose a little bit of fucking weight.
• *Here you go America! This one"s for you. AND you"ll be able to understand it!*Yo momma"s so fat...she must be American.
• I find all these obese jokes horrible.Don"t you think they have enough on their plate?
• Supposedly Real 911 Calls.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.Dispatcher: Do you have an address?Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?*********************************************Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.Dispatcher: Excuse me?Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken abite out of it.Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I"m sick and tired of it!*********************************************Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?Caller: I"m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn"t have an eleven on it.Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.Dispatcher: Yes, ma"am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I"m not stupid.*********************************************Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What"s the nature of your emergency?Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apartDispatcher: Is this her first child?Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!*********************************************And the winner is..........Dispatcher: 9-1-1Caller: Yeah, I"m having trouble breathing I"m all out of breath. Darn....I think I"m going to pass outDispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?Caller: I"m at a pay phone North and Foster.Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?Caller: NoDispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?Caller: Running from the Police
• What"s big in America?Humans.
• Thank God for fetishes...They"re what make Fat people feel wanted...
• I was driving through town last week when I saw a big fat American stood in the middle of the road. I ran straight over him. I could have gone around him but I didn"t know whether I had enough petrol.
• It"s been in the news that obese women can"t use birth control pills because they won"t work properly.It doesn"t really matter though, it"s not like they will ever get a shag.
• Kids are much easier to get a hold of nowadays....Mainly due to the fact they"re all obese.