Night jokes

• Those bastards in the pub, they told me it would be okay to keep a turkey in the freezer for up to three months. I put one in last night, and when I checked this morning, it was fucking dead.
• George Bush took a Viagra last night, the prick got taller!
• Went to my first Bukkake night last night, they were very rude...kept telling me to shut my mouth
• I took the wife for a night on the town.She told me she wanted to get smashed.So I pushed her in front of a bus.
• A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night:- 5% said it was to get a glass of water.- 12% said it was to go to the toilet.- 83% said it was to go home.
• Went to Bridgend for a night out, turned out pretty boring.Lots of people just hanging about.
• what do you do if you see your T.V floating at night?tell the nigger to drop it.what do you do if you see your fridge floating at night?dont say anything because thats one big nigger!
• Jesus walks into a hotel, throws a bag of nails on the counter and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
• What"s 18 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night?Cot death.
• What"s the best thing for a hangover?Lots to drink the night before.
• Has anyone else seen the new Batman film "The Dark Knight"?I thought Heath Ledger"s performance was really convincing; You couldn"t even see the strings.
• I"m still a virgin. I"ve been waiting for the right person...In fact, I"ve been waiting for the right person every night this week, in an alley between 11pm and 1am.