Necrophilia jokes

• I used to be a necrophiliac... until the rotten cunt split on me
• I could never be a necrophiliac. I mean, no matter how well you treat them you always end up getting the cold shoulder....
• Respect the dead, wear a condom
• Definitions:Necrophilia - Dead boringPaedophilia - Childishly boringIncest - A game for all the familyAnd if you like Bestiality, necrophilia and S & M you could say you like flogging a dead horse!!
• I just rented Die Hard.Was disappointed when I discovered it was nothing to do with necrophilia.
• What"s the definition of necrophilia?Cracking open a cold one!
• A guy went to a brothel and asked for a whore that could take 12 inches. The madam gave him her best one, and the guy went in and started banging the hell out of her, but she started screaming that she couldn"t take it. So he goes back to the madam and she gives him another whore. Same thing -- he starts banging her and she starts screaming in pain. He"s pissed off now and about to leave when the madam begs him to try one more whore; she assures him this whore will be his best fuck ever. So he goes in a dark room and starts banging another chick, and everything"s going great; she keeps taking it and he"s loving it. Then all of a sudden, she starts foaming at the mouth. The guy gets freaked out and runs out to tell the madam, who brings over the custodian and says "Hey, Frank, the dead one"s full again."
• What"s the difference between necrophilia and date rape?Just the body temperature......
• Two men are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other and says,"You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she"d been there for three weeks. Man, I"m tellin" you, her clit was just like a pickle.""What," the other asks. "Green?"."No," says the first. "A bit sour."
• I went to a LifeSavers" convention and I got to thinking - when does CPR become necrophilia?
• Necrophilia is dead boring. Try incest, it"s only relatively boring.
• Necrophilia means never having to say you"re sorry.
• My girlfriend recently broke up with me after rejecting the idea that we have sex in a graveyard.I"m not too upset though............she"ll die eventually.
• Necrophilia... for rapists who can"t win a fight