Mirror jokes

• Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors?So they can watch the battle.
• I did my bit for deformed kids today.I took a group of them to a house of mirrors so they could see what it was like to be normal.
• It was my 7th wedding anniversary today.Take it from me...never smash a mirror.
• I saw an ad in the paper. Someone was selling a mirror.It read "Large (36" x 24"), unboxed mirror for sale, never used"So how the fuck did they know it was a mirror?
• Paris Hilton, a brunette and a redhead found a magical mirror that would instantly zap you away in an instant if it believed you were wrong. The brunette stepped up and said, "I think that I have the best looking breasts in the world!"POOF!. She dissapeared.The redhead went in front of the mirror and said, "I think that I have the sexiest legs in the world!"POOF! she dissapeared.Paris Hilton said, "I think..."POOF!.
• Snow white, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo are sitting in a pub with their mates.Snow white says "Theres no doubt about it, I"m the fairest in the land"Tom thumb says "Theres no doubt about it, I"m the smallest in the land"Quasimodo says "Theres no doubt about it, I"m the ugliest in the land"Their mates tell them to prove it by going to the magic all-knowing mirror, and the three head off.A few minutes later, the door of the pub bursts open and Snow White runs in and says "Its official...I"m the fairest in the land!"Shortly afterwards, the door again bursts open and Tom Thumb runs in and shouts "Its official...I"m the smallest in the land!"Five minutes later, the door gets kicked in and Quasimodo storms in and bellows "Who the fuck is Jade Goody?"
• Christiano Ronaldo goes to the doctors and says "doctor every time I look in the mirror I get turned on" the doctor says "I"m not surprised you"re a cunt!"
• I had sex in the back of my dad"s car once.He was pretty angry when he looked in his rear-view mirror.
• I know a vampire who collects mirrors.I don"t know what he sees in them, to be honest!
• A man stands in front of the mirror and says to his wife, I always get a hard on when I look at myself.The wife looks at him and says, that"s because you look like a cunt.