Milkman jokes

• I don"t mind this role-reversal business at all.I am happy to stay at home when my wife goes out to work. I am happy to do the dishes and the rest of the housework - and, besides, our milkman is fantastic in bed.
• A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I"m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No. Just up to my tits."------BENNY HILL - ERNIE, THE FASTEST MILKMAN IN THE WEST
• Little Johnny is passing his parents" bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaningand thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in *The Act*.Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsey ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy, relieved thatJohnny"s not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out, "Hang on tight, Daddy!This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
• I came home last week and said to the wife, "I"ve heard the milkman has slept with every woman in this street but one."She replied, "God, I bet it"s that stuck up bitch from number 20!"
• My grandad used to get up at 5am every morning and deliver milk to people"s doorsteps in a horse drawn cart.He isn"t a milkman, he"s clinically insane.
• A little boy walked in on his parents having sex and ran from the room. The father jumped up and ran to calm him down. The little boy said, "I don"t like ya doing that, it scares me and it sounds like mommy is getting hurt!"The dad assured the little boy that mommy was not being hurt and said, "we are making you a baby brother so you will have someone to play with."This made the little boy happy and he ran off to go play.The next day, when his dad came home, the little boy was sitting on the front porch crying his eyes out. The dad asked him what was so bad that it made him cry so hard. The little boy replied, "you know that baby brother you and mommy was making me? Well, the milkman ate him this morning!"
• Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey, Dad! What are you doing?"His father says, "I"m filling your mother"s tank."Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
• My Mum used to say "You can"t have it both ways"Well, she"s changed her tune since I caught the Milkman giving her one up the arse.
• A man rings up his home while he is at work to check if every thing is okay. A small boy answers the phone."Hello son, can I speak to mum?" the Dad asks."No, she"s fucking the milkman," replies the son."Alright son, go and grab the gun from the attic and shoot them both!" demands the Father.So the everything goes quiet and the Dad hears two gun shots. The son picks up the phone again."I"ve got lots and lots of blood on me!""Just wash it off the pool!" The Dad orders"...Pool...We don"t have a pool...""Wait a minute...This is 0208 875 9420?"
• A boy returns home early to find his mum and dad naked on the settee having sex.The dad says, "it"s okay, son, I"m just filling mummy up with petrol."The son says, "well, she doesn"t do many miles to the gallon, cos the fucking milkman filled her up this morning."